A GAME AS A GIFT
People gives different kinds of presents to their relatives. Some people want an extraordinary one, beacuse this on emay change the life of the man who had the gift. Here, we saw this kind of a present given by the hero’s brother, Conrad, in this movie. He gave a game as a gift. Is it interesting, isn’t it? It is likely that there are some to be saying that it is nonsense or unreal. However, believe me – because i don’t lie – it is a real game.
Think about it. Suppose that you were Nicholas: You were an important business man; you have a lot of money and have everything you want. What is gave to you as a present? What can you give a present to a man who has everything? Of course a gift like Conrad thouhgt, also everybody Nicholas knows is in the game. He has accidents, escapes from the cabs, is watched by some… Everything is so planned that it is hard to believe it, but if it weren’t a game, Nicholas would definitely be died. For example, the taxi driver locks him in the car and let it drop into the water. If you remember, you will notice that those people gave him a doorhandle before. And what did he do? Yes, he used the doorhandle to open the door of the car and he was able to get out of the car.
If I need some extra examples to prove that it is a real game, I can give the “key” example. He used it to run the elevator, didn’t he? It worked and he went up to the 14th floor with the blonde woman who included in the game. The happenings went on. The woman and the others were so successfull that Nicholas never understood they were lying. Even his ex wife is in the game. I appreciate that Conrad had thouhgt all people Nicholas knew and he was able to arrenge them successfully.
There was an aim of this game, of course. Nicholas had lost his father many many years ago and he became a stubborn person. The aim was to make him understand the important of life. Conrad did this finally. At the end of the film, everyone was in the hall to celebrate Nicholas’ birthday. If it weren’t a game, nobody would be there. I liked this film too much. It is really an excellent game, but just a game.
this on emay change ( Ithink there is a mistake here but I couldn't it.actually I could not understand what it means)
YanıtlaSilYou were an important business man; you have a lot of money and have everything you want. What is gave to you as a present? What can you give a present to a man who has
( in these sentences you mixed the tenses.Some of them can define the unreal situations but the uses of them are mixed.You should check them again)
it will be better if you don't use "and" at the beginning of the sentence.You must connet two sentences with this conjuction
I think it needs a refutation
Organization is good and it is fluent.
SEDA DURUYOL
AYŞE BALIN
YanıtlaSilIf necessary to begin, I want to start with your grammatical and structural mistakes. There ara so many mistakes that I sometimes hard to understand your essay. There is also so much punctuation mistakes. It is little understandable essay. If there aren't any mistakes, it can be really good essay.
'on emay' What is the meaning of this? I couldn't understand it. 'Is it interesting, isn’t it?' It is an example of structural mistake. 'It is interesting, isn't it?' It is true, not yours true.
Organization is relatively good. Intro, body and conclusion part is well-written. But there is a problem with coherence. Because of your grammatical and structural mistakes, in your essay, there isn't coherence.
If you correct your mistakes, there won't be any problem. To sum up, it is a faulty but a good essay.
MERVE DÖNMEZ
YanıtlaSilyour organization is good, you have an intr paragraph, body paragraphs and finally conc. so you have explained your thesis statement and your ideas in a good way but there are gramatical mistakes. for example, ''Is it interesting, isn’t it?'' we use this sentence like this '' it is interesting, isn't it?'' ,
if ı need ((to add)) some extra,
by using question you provide your essay effective but you have mixed tenses so you should check and correct your mistakes. if you provide tense orgasnization, your essay can be more clear. thanks your essay :)