LIKE A GAME
What would be your answer if someone wanted to play a game ? You will not know anything about it.They will just tkae your information and they will start.It sounds interesting,isn’t it ? there is a film about a game which is like it.There is a man whose brother gave him a present.The present is a game for fun.Actually,it is not a game,it can’t be. It must be a dream or psychological problem
The first reason is it was so dangerous.He had really hard times while playing.He always was close to be died.For example; while driving,the car fell into the sea and all the doors are locked.He had a key which they had given but he didn’t know where he would use it.He could think at that moment but if he couldn’t remember this,he might be died.If it had been a game,the death wouldn’t have used as a part of it.All of the people played with him were in the game because they wanted to give present for him birtday.It is not logical to use death.
Another reason is there are many poverties in the game.Evidences were never found,someone broke his house and wrote many things to the walls,but then they were suddenly disappeared.The whole house was searching but they couldn’t find any gun.However,in the last part he had a gun.He shot his brother.Someone says that it was just game,the leads were not real but noone had known the gun.How were the leads changed? He had just seen a dream.Bacause he didn’t want to loose his brother,he saw it like this.
All of it is a consideration in his mind because he would celebrate his new age.He had nothing,there would be noone who paid attention for him.Also,his father killed himself at the same age.He had psychological problems and had a dream.Any person who takes care of another person doesn’t put in danger him.I completely disagree that it was a game!not a game,it was a dream
AYŞE BALIN
YanıtlaSilFor you, it must be too hard to explain the film isn't a game. But anyway, except a few mistake, your essay is good. In terms of your grammar, there is a bit deficiency. But you can check and correct it. In terms of organization, there isn't any problem. It is well-organized. Your supporting details are convincing. Your content is also welldone. Thank your for your proof that this film isn't a game.
Grammer: There are some tense conflicts in your some sentences=>" while driving,the car fell into the sea and all the doors are locked." "There is a man whose brother gave him a present" ,There is a grammer mistake =>"The whole house was searching ". Apart from these, grammer is used correctly and effectively.
YanıtlaSilOrganization: It is OK because there are three main parts in your essay.Thesis statement is related to your topic and you argue this idea.
Content: There is a unity and you argue only one topic so it is fluent. You wrote it in an argumentative format.
l like it because you persuade me..thanks for writing. GOOD JOB.
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